You should know that I was born with PPD - People Pleasing Disorder. For those of you who aren't familiar with PPD, it is a very serious disorder characterized by excessively pretending to like things you don't really like and the strict avoidance of any and all strong opinions, except those that others will most likely agree with.
Case in point: my high school journal, and I quote:
"I went to prom with J. It was so fun! He really likes to fast dance, which is so cool, because I totally love to fast dance but none of my other dates ever want to."
"I played sand volleyball last night with J. It is like the funnest sport ever! I can't wait to do it again."
Let me be perfectly clear here - both of those statements are boldfaced lies. In addition to PPD, I was also born with a high-level lack of coordination, making fast dancing and sand volleyball two things I should never do. And that's not just me saying that, I've heard it from several other people as well.
My ever supportive sister says that we're all delusional when we're in love. Well, then, I must be in love with her, because I hide my O Magazine every time she comes over, since I know she hates Oprah (I never watched the show, I just like all the book reviews in the magazine).
Please note how I felt compelled to defend myself at the end of that last paragraph. If that is not an indication of the advanced state of my disease, I don't know what is.
I have also pretended for years that yellow is my favorite color, when I actually enjoy orange, blue and green equally as much. I just made up yellow because people expect you to have a favorite color. It pleases them.
Anyway, since I rarely have the courage to say my real opinions in public (the few that I've formed, anyway), I thought I'd write up a short list that you can print and keep in your wallet for handy reference:
* I like homemade pie. A lot.
Pretty controversial, I know.
Aw, don't worry, fellow PPD sufferers. People pleasing is fairly harmless as long as you don't compromise your core values. So, if someone wants you to rob a store with them, you simply must put your foot down and say, "No, I don't do that." They may not be too pleased with you, but if they start to get angry you can quickly calm them down by telling them what your favorite color is. That pleases almost everyone ;)
And yes, if you used to read Currant Pie, you've seen a version of this post before. I thought it would be fun to move a few of my most popular posts over here. And I was right, that was so fun!
Showing posts with label Need A Lift?. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Need A Lift?. Show all posts
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
Monday, July 16, 2012
Remembered No More
A few weeks ago I had to have a suspicious mole removed, and I had never been to the dermatologist before, so I didn't know who to see.
My good friend from high school lives in my neighborhood, and her husband is a dermatologist. I would trust him, and it seems like that would be the logical choice. BUT - my sister had warned me that with our family history of skin cancer, the doc would want to do a full body check on me, and so naturally I could NEVER go see someone I actually know! Only a complete stranger can do a full body check!
I've been studying forgiveness for a lesson I'm teaching in Relief Society this week, and this experience made me think of how reluctant most people are to go confess their sins to their bishop. If we could go to someone else's bishop, someone who isn't our neighbor and we haven't known for ten years, maybe then it would be a little easier...baring our whole soul, you know?
I work with a guy who's the bishop in his ward. Once I asked him if it was a great burden for him to know all the bad choices everyone in his ward had made. He surprised me by saying he doesn't remember most of them. He described it as a gift, part of the mantel of bishop, but when people are done meeting with him as part of the repentance process, he sees them at church, and he might remember that they were in his office, but he can't remember what for - like a cloud in his mind.
That is a gift of grace that everyone should know about - it removes the burden from both parties of remembering what was confessed, and all that is left is a clean, whole, vibrant soul that can move on free of the chains of sin and shame.
P.S. The mole turned out to be harmless :)
My good friend from high school lives in my neighborhood, and her husband is a dermatologist. I would trust him, and it seems like that would be the logical choice. BUT - my sister had warned me that with our family history of skin cancer, the doc would want to do a full body check on me, and so naturally I could NEVER go see someone I actually know! Only a complete stranger can do a full body check!
I've been studying forgiveness for a lesson I'm teaching in Relief Society this week, and this experience made me think of how reluctant most people are to go confess their sins to their bishop. If we could go to someone else's bishop, someone who isn't our neighbor and we haven't known for ten years, maybe then it would be a little easier...baring our whole soul, you know?
I work with a guy who's the bishop in his ward. Once I asked him if it was a great burden for him to know all the bad choices everyone in his ward had made. He surprised me by saying he doesn't remember most of them. He described it as a gift, part of the mantel of bishop, but when people are done meeting with him as part of the repentance process, he sees them at church, and he might remember that they were in his office, but he can't remember what for - like a cloud in his mind.
That is a gift of grace that everyone should know about - it removes the burden from both parties of remembering what was confessed, and all that is left is a clean, whole, vibrant soul that can move on free of the chains of sin and shame.
P.S. The mole turned out to be harmless :)
Sunday, June 24, 2012
Happily Ever After
My 6-year-old daughter, AJ, would never admit it, but she's a little bit afraid of most of the Disney villains. Think Cruella de Ville, or Ursula the sea witch. I can't say I blame her.
Whenever we're watching a movie and one of these villains makes an appearance, AJ will scramble up onto the couch next to me and hide most of her face under my arm, so she's watching the movie with about half an eye. She doesn't want to stop watching, but she sure hates those villains!
The only thing that keeps her going is if I assure her over and over, "It has a happy ending. I promise, it has a happy ending."
Today my friend Deb E. reminded me that those words can keep us going, too, whenever we're afraid or hurting or in a bad place.
No matter what happens here, there is a happy ending.
Isaiah 51:11
"Therefore the redeemed of the Lord shall return, and come with singing unto Zion; and everlasting joy shall be upon their head: they shall obtain gladness and joy; and sorrow and mourning shall flee away."
Gonna Need Grace
Whenever we're watching a movie and one of these villains makes an appearance, AJ will scramble up onto the couch next to me and hide most of her face under my arm, so she's watching the movie with about half an eye. She doesn't want to stop watching, but she sure hates those villains!
The only thing that keeps her going is if I assure her over and over, "It has a happy ending. I promise, it has a happy ending."
Today my friend Deb E. reminded me that those words can keep us going, too, whenever we're afraid or hurting or in a bad place.
No matter what happens here, there is a happy ending.
Isaiah 51:11
"Therefore the redeemed of the Lord shall return, and come with singing unto Zion; and everlasting joy shall be upon their head: they shall obtain gladness and joy; and sorrow and mourning shall flee away."
Gonna Need Grace
Thursday, June 7, 2012
All I Can Do, Part II
Imagine you and all the people on earth are on one side of a great chasm and heaven is on the other. You've all been instructed to build a bridge that will get you to the other side. Everyone goes to work and frantically starts building bridges, until God says "Stop".
Nobody has finished. Some bridges span 100 feet or more, while others are only a few feet long and not at all attractive.
But, it turns out that it doesn't matter how far anyone got. Jesus makes up the unfinished distance for each of us.
No matter how far that distance is.
To me, the emphasis in "after all you can do" shouldn't be on the ALL, but rather on the YOU. All YOU can do is just that - it's not what your mom or your neighbor or anyone else can do, it's just all you can do.
Good news! I think that 'comparing' might not even be a real concept in heaven...although we've pretty much perfected the art here :)
CREDIT: The bridge and its symbolic representation of Christ's grace is not my original thought (not much is!). I heard this analogy at a stake YoungWomen's meeting and, although I can't remember who taught it, I want to give credit to the Hermosa Vista Stake Young Women presidency for teaching this concept in such a beautiful way that it stuck in my heart!
Gonna Need Grace
Nobody has finished. Some bridges span 100 feet or more, while others are only a few feet long and not at all attractive.
But, it turns out that it doesn't matter how far anyone got. Jesus makes up the unfinished distance for each of us.
No matter how far that distance is.
To me, the emphasis in "after all you can do" shouldn't be on the ALL, but rather on the YOU. All YOU can do is just that - it's not what your mom or your neighbor or anyone else can do, it's just all you can do.
Good news! I think that 'comparing' might not even be a real concept in heaven...although we've pretty much perfected the art here :)
CREDIT: The bridge and its symbolic representation of Christ's grace is not my original thought (not much is!). I heard this analogy at a stake YoungWomen's meeting and, although I can't remember who taught it, I want to give credit to the Hermosa Vista Stake Young Women presidency for teaching this concept in such a beautiful way that it stuck in my heart!
Gonna Need Grace
Wednesday, June 6, 2012
All I Can Do, Part I
I once read a book called All You Can Do Is All You Can Do, But All You Can Do Is Enough. It was one of those motivational books intended to inspire you to go out and be the greatest salesman slash woman in the world. 
It didn't work.
All I could do wasn't enough. After all, I never got rich!!
And it still isn't enough, when I try to get through a week or a day or sometimes even an hour without making some mistake that's anti-who I really mean to be.
If you have ever felt like all you can do is not enough in this life, now is the moment that you get to set that worry aside.
We make the mistake of thinking all I can do means we must do everything, and do it all right. After all, if we haven't done everything, did we really do ALL we could? But if this way of thinking was Truth, why would we need grace at all? We'd have already done everything we need to do to pass successfully from this life into a life of eternal glory with our Father in Heaven, all on our own.
The scriptures teach us the exact opposite: "...it is by grace that we are saved, after all we can do" (2 Nephi 25:23). This is a scripture of Relief! We are not expected to save, or perfect, ourselves. We are off the hook, we are not on the cross. Jesus Christ did that for us.
All you can do really is enough. Rejoice in that!
For more on this subject, I recommend the book Believing Christ, by Stephen E. Robinson.
P.S. If you're not familiar with the scripture I referenced above , it is from the Book of Mormon , another testament of Jesus Christ and companion scripture to the Bible.
Gonna Need Grace
It didn't work.
All I could do wasn't enough. After all, I never got rich!!
And it still isn't enough, when I try to get through a week or a day or sometimes even an hour without making some mistake that's anti-who I really mean to be.
If you have ever felt like all you can do is not enough in this life, now is the moment that you get to set that worry aside.
We make the mistake of thinking all I can do means we must do everything, and do it all right. After all, if we haven't done everything, did we really do ALL we could? But if this way of thinking was Truth, why would we need grace at all? We'd have already done everything we need to do to pass successfully from this life into a life of eternal glory with our Father in Heaven, all on our own.
The scriptures teach us the exact opposite: "...it is by grace that we are saved, after all we can do" (2 Nephi 25:23). This is a scripture of Relief! We are not expected to save, or perfect, ourselves. We are off the hook, we are not on the cross. Jesus Christ did that for us.
All you can do really is enough. Rejoice in that!
For more on this subject, I recommend the book Believing Christ, by Stephen E. Robinson.
P.S. If you're not familiar with the scripture I referenced above , it is from the Book of Mormon , another testament of Jesus Christ and companion scripture to the Bible.
Gonna Need Grace
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